by Matthew B. Harper

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come to him and eat with him, and he with me. (Revelation 3:20)

God is at your door knocking, always, everywhere. Feels kind of like ‘Big Brother,’ huh? Not exactly.

In prison I am under constant scrutiny. I am constantly checked, interrogated, and searched. It is seldom that I go more than a few hours without having to justify myself to a guard and be touched and searched. When I am not in front of a guard, I am often on a security camera somewhere. And much worse than that is the scrutiny that comes from other inmates. We watch each other constantly.

In prison, it has often been said, in a parody of the slogan of the army, that you can ‘be all that you can pretend to be.’ I cannot count the number of times when men in here, often young and scared, spin tall tales of how famous, dangerous, and rich they were. We often joke that there are no drug addicts in here, just drug dealers. There are no prostitutes in here, just pimps. But under the watchful eyes of other prisoners, true character always comes out.

I long to go to a place away from society and just be quiet and alone for a while. But until that time comes, I use the presence of scrutiny as a chance to witness. I love to study apologetics, and I love to talk and argue; but God needs more witnesses, not more lawyers. Every relationship that we have, in every situation that we find ourselves, there is a chance to model Christian love. There is a chance to witness Christ, even without ever speaking a word.

Surely Christ is always watching us, just as Christ is always with us, and inviting God in will transform every relationship, every interaction. Be a witness today, because somebody is watching you.

Come, O Father saving Son, who o’er sin the victory won. Boundless shall your kingdom be; grant that we it’s glories see. (Hymn 54)

by Matthew B. Harper

Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested. (Revelation 2:10)

Prison is horrible. Prison is a deeply and profoundly negative experience that wounds and damages people. But not all people. As much as it is difficult, for some people prison is a test, and an opportunity. Prison can be a chance for society to seek healing and punishment for the penitent, and for the penitent to seek wholeness.

But that does not happen without the presence of God. Prison has often been likened to a church or monastery, but it isn’t. Church lifts you up and directs your gaze towards heaven; prison crushes you down, and grinds you to the depths of pain and longing. But yet, when God is present, it can be transforming.

In this barren desert a highway can be formed. In the barrenness of a concrete cell, on the arid stone of a human heart, something blooms. When nothing else works, where nothing else can go, then we notice God’s presence.

Each of us must discover on our own who Christ is. Each of us must be willing to meet Christ, and if we are willing to invite God in then we must be ready to accept what God is offering. C. S. Lewis once said that God accepts us as we are, but loves us too much to leave us as we are. When Christ is here, then everything is different.

Any time can be a test, and God is here with us. With God’s constant presence then every moment and circumstance can be transformed. This simple presence is the greatest gift we could imagine. In prison the presence of God, and the presence of loved ones, is the greatest Christmas gift there is.

Give the transforming gift of your presence this year.

The King shall come when morning dawns and light triumphant breaks: when beauty gilds the eastern hills and life to joy awakes. (Hymn 73)

by Matthew B. Harper

When I saw him I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand upon me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one:” (Revelation 1:17-18)

I have feared the courts, the judges, and the authorities. I have feared the condemnation of my friends and family. I have feared the pain of my victims, not just the direct victims of my crimes; but also so many collateral victims. Everybody who has been touched by my crimes, even police, judges, and the prison guards are victims. When I first saw the movie ‘The Passion” I was captivated not just by the graphic portrayal of what Christ endured, but by the unspeakable pain on the faces of the two Mary’s. I see the pain on Jesus’ mother’s face, and I think to the painful cries from my mother and fiancé on the day that I was sentenced. I think of what my parents endure everyday that I am in prison. They are my victims in new ways on every missed holiday, on every missed birthday, on every day.

The pain of Mary before the cross was not just the pain of a mother seeing the torture of her son. She, better than any of us, knows the amazing divine identity of Jesus. She sees not just the infant she nursed and raised, but she also sees her God abused and crucified. It is her faith, her hope, and her God that is hung on the cross and killed.

But it was allowed by God, and only for a time. Fear not. Christ is the Living One. Holy. Eternal. Resurrected Savior. The Christ born this Christmas is beyond time, before it and after it, eternally reigning with the Father; he died and conquered death.

Christ hung on the cross for all the crimes that I have done, but Christ came down to live with all of the victims, and to bring healing to them and to me. Fear not Mary; Fear not us, Christ is here.

Herald, sound the note of judgment, warning us of right and wrong, turning us from sin and sadness till once more we sing the song. (Hymn 70)