Lent

Tuesday, Fourth Week in Lent

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by Matthew B. Harper

Genesis 49:29,33 – Then he charged them… When Jacob ended his charge to his sons, he drew up his feet into the bed, breathed his last, and was gathered to his people.

My sentence is very long. A few days after I was sentenced I spoke with my father over the phone. He told me that he might not live long enough to see me again as a free man. That is, to me, a terrifying and sobering thought.

My dad and I have always had a difficult relationship. I am now incarcerated, I am his only surviving child, and strangely we have a better relationship than any I can ever remember. And it is important to me to be in as deep a relationship with him as I can be. I read his books and talk frequently to him and my stepmother when he is in the country. Both of us value our relationship more than we did.

Dad has quit smoking and lost weight, but still lives a high-stress life. I hope and pray that we have time to once again go fishing and hiking; but his father died very young and I fear the odds are not in our favor.

I live my life with a lot of regrets—we all do—but let us not be allowed to regret damaged or broken relationships that can still be mended in the hear and now. As long as there is life for us, there is hope. If there are broken relationship in your life, reach out to heal them. If others reach out to you, accept them. In the Old Testament everybody seems to die peacefully and in the proper time, but in our lives it is seldom that way. You are not promised tomorrow, so make peace today. That will be something you never regret.

“That it may please thee to inspire us, in our callings, to do the work which thou givest us to do with singleness of heart as thy servants, and for the common good, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord” BCP 151

Monday, Fourth Week in Lent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Mark 7:28 – But she answered him, “Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children‘s crumbs.”

Prison ministry is unpopular. It isn’t often thought of, and the few people who decide to work in it often approach it with fear and apprehension. We are always hard pressed to raise donations and to find willing volunteers. We gladly settle for the ‘crumbs’ from the regular ministries. I am writing this on a used donated computer, work in a library full of used donated books, and play music on a used donated guitar. The music is at least a joyful noise to the Lord.

Jesus came to minister to the sick, the friendless, and the needy. Jesus did not come for the healthy; he came as a physician to heal the sick. Who were the children that this lady spoke of? The Gentiles. Us.

In prison ministry or any other, spend your time ministering to those people who most need it, not those who you think most deserve it.

Please remember prison ministry and other non-traditional ministries when you make your tithe of money and time. Even small gifts of yours, or a short period of your time, can make a profound impact on the life of another.

“That it may please thee to give and preserve to our use the bountiful fruits of the earth, so that in due time all may enjoy them, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord” BCP 151

Fourth Sunday in Lent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Luke 1:32-33 – …the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever.

Jesus, the eternal Lord, sits upon the throne of David. Prisoners love the story of David. David the great king was also David the murderer and adulterer. In David’s story we see great sin, but also profound repentance and deep faith. On this the holy dynasty was founded.

Did David suffer for his sins? Of course. David lost his kingdom for a time, his family, and the son conceived in adultery died. But all of his suffering changed him, and it rooted his faith even deeper. David wasn’t strong enough to be used by God. He became weak enough.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said “the cross we bear always proceeds the cross we wear.”

We all bear our cross. We all sin. We all suffer. In well-to-do suburban churches this is not a common or easy truth, so learn it from those who know it intimately. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. When we are able approach God with profound repentance, and are willing to remain steadfast in our faith, God will use us, and transform us. Everyone is capable of repentance, and from a position of profound repentance you can be weak enough to be used by God and raised to great heights.

“Gracious Father, whose blessed Son Jesus Christ came down from heaven to be the true bread which giveth life to the world: Evermore give us this bread, that he may live in us, and we in him; who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen” BCP 167

Saturday, Third Week in Lent

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by Matthew B. Harper

1 Corinthians 10:11 – These things happened to them to serve as an example, and they were written down to instruct us.

As people we learn by example, and we are instructed upon the authority of others. We learn from books, and by teaching, and by following the examples of those who have come before us.

When I first came to prison I knew that I knew nothing. I knew the tales and legends about prison, but nothing else. All I had to guide me was my faith and my integrity. It didn’t take me long to identify the leaders of the different communities and groups in the prison, and to begin to see their character.

We learn from others, so we must choose carefully and deliberately from whom we would learn and who our leaders will be. I owe a great debt of gratitude to many of the older cons who were men of great faith and integrity, and also well respected within the prison environment. Over the years these men have taught me how to live a life that I could respect, that would steer me clear of most of the troubles in prison, and how to stand rock solid when trouble comes to find me.

When we embark on any new task, in any new phase of our life, or need any guidance, then we must seek out good people to be our guides and examples. We must allow our selves to be guided by the spirit in this. And then we must learn from what they offer. And never underestimate the power of someone in authority to influence people, so be mindful of those who would learn from you. Choose your examples well. And be a good example to others.

“That it may please thee to show pity upon all prisoners and captives, the homeless and the hungry, and all who are desolate and oppressed, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord.” BCP 151

Friday, Third Week in Lent

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by Matthew B. Harper

Mark 6:51-52 – And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened

We like to look to the Apostles as men of faith. We remember how they taught, ministered, and remained faithful unto death. But when we look to the Gospels and the book of Acts, we see that they were much more human. They suffered from doubts and fears. They walked beside Jesus everyday, and they often missed the point. Often Christ is frustrated and angry with the disciples because of their inability to realize who he was, or what His true purpose was.

But they were willing to follow Christ, to trust Christ, and to become transformed. Christ did not choose them because they “got it” or because they were great men of faith or intellect when they started. He called them because of what they could become, and then he helped them become it.

“He [a Christian] does not think that God will love us because we are good, but rather that God will make us good because he loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but rather becomes bright because the sun shines upon us.”

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

God chose you, not because of what you were, but because of whose you were and what you will become. This Lent don’t just put something aside, or take something on; this Lent – be transformed.

“That it may please thee to make wars to cease in all the world; to give to all nations unity, peace, and concord; and to bestow freedom upon all peoples, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord.” BCP 151

Thursday, Third Week in Lent

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by Matthew B. Harper

Mark 6:37 – But He answered and said to them, “You give them something to eat.”

On Easter Sunday in 2003 I decided I would cook food for anybody in my housing pod who would eat. Prison food here is much better than most, but it is possible to combine different foods from the canteen to cook up something special. With plenty of advance planning I saved some money and assembled quite a spread. I had some friends in the kitchen acquire vegetables and spices; from the canteen I got some of every good food offered. They served boiled eggs for breakfast that morning, and we brought dozens back to the building. My mom taught me how to cook, and my friends were looking forward to it this feast.

But things in prison are never that easy. Some of my friends don’t like some of my other friends. Everybody wanted some of the food, but some insisted on eating at separate tables, away from each other. I grieved over this, but agreed. I wanted to do this for them. When it came time to cook and prepare the food we had ten men show up to my cell to help cook. We had guys from all over showing up with cold sodas to drink and cookies for desert. One of my kitchen connections refused to let me pay them for the vegetables. We fed over twenty men, and most of the ones who didn’t help cook, helped clean. It was Easter, and it was good. Most of my cooking helpers were Christians and we prayed over the food as we fixed it. Our prayers were answered.

Some say Jesus feeding 5000 men is a miracle; others say that all he did was convince the crowd to share. To me that is a miracle either way.

“That it may please thee so to rule the hearts of thy servants, this nation, and all in authority, that they may do justice, and love mercy, and walk in the ways of truth, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord” BCP 150

Wednesday, Third Week in Lent

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by Matthew B. Harper

1 Corinthians 8:11 – So by your knowledge those weak believers for whom Christ died are destroyed.

Paul reminds us that there are no other gods, and all false idols are simply that – false. But just because we know that truth, we have that knowledge, that doesn’t mean that all others do. And those people who are weak in the faith may be easily misled when they see us do ‘unchristian’ things.

All to often we strive to justify our actions by dividing our time into ‘sacred’ and ‘secular’ time. This is false, for there is no moment that isn’t sacred. There are no ordinary moments in all of life. There are no moments that are not gifts to us from God, and no moments when we are free from our responsibility to God.

Our faith and our ministry are not something that we should ever be willing to put aside or turn off. There are no moments in all of time that we stop being Christians. Our responsibility is to not simply hold our faith in our minds, but to also hold it in our hearts and live it in our lives, and our lives will be viewed by others. We may have great knowledge of the ways of God, but we must not let our knowledge lead others astray. It is true that it would be their lack of knowledge that is the danger, but Paul cautions us to act out of Love, not Knowledge.

There are no ordinary moments in life, and we must act out of love to all people, in all times.

Remind yourself today, every time you think of it, that there are no ordinary moments. Simply remind yourself that this very moment has never been before, will never be again, and is a gift to you from God.

“That it may please thee to give us a heart to love and fear thee, and diligently to live after thy commandments, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord” BCP 150

Tuesday, Third Week in Lent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Genesis 45:5 – And now do not be distressed, or angry, with yourselves… for God sent me before you to preserve life.

As an Army brat I grew up and knew people who had been shot. But it wasn’t until coming to prison that I knew people who had been shot on the streets of America. Too many of my friends have scars from bullets, knives, or other weapons. One of my friends, an alcoholic drinking 8 – 10 cases of bear a week before prison, will tell you point blank that getting arrested saved his life.

I could never understand Joseph’s feelings until I came to prison. Joseph was used by the Lord, and he was now a grown and mature man, a mature man of God. He saw that God was using him, and he knew God’s purpose was greater than his anger towards his brothers. His forgiveness was beyond what he could have ever offered on his own, it came from God’s greater purpose.

The mother of my victim has forgiven me. When I asked her how she could possibly do such a thing she simply told me “I can’t. It is of God.” That forgiveness is the greatest gift I have ever received.

I don’t know if God saved my life by sending me to prison, but I know God saved my sanity and my purpose in life. And for many of my Christian brothers going to prison probably did save their lives. This isn’t a path that any of us would have deliberately chosen, but sometimes it was the only way that God could salvage the mess we have made of our lives. Prison is not easy, it is a journey of constant suffering, but it is suffering with a purpose, when we allow it to be it becomes suffering sanctified by God.

That it may please thee to bring into the way of truth all such as have erred, and are deceived, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord” BCP 150

Monday, Third Week in Lent

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by Matthew B. Harper

1 Corinthians 7:27 – Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife…

In this Chapter of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians he seems very negative about marriage and about sexuality altogether. It may very well be my least favorite passage in Paul’s letters. It must be remembered though that Paul is here assuming that Christ would return within his lifetime, or very soon after. With that in mind it was important to put aside worldly things and focus only on the Lord.

Paul calls his celibacy a gift and it is one I was not given. Yet here I am. I have always been in relationships with women and most of my close friends have always been women. My greatest dream in life has never been more than to be a good husband and father. And here I am, single, childless, and celibate. It is a kind of suffering for me, but even in suffering meaning can be found.

And being totally unavailable has produced some great gifts. There are a few women in my life for whom I am able to be totally devoted to without any ulterior motives. When we talk and write I can open my heart to them totally without wanting anything other than friendship. For some of them this is something unique from a man.

God gave children to Abraham and to Zechariah when they were old men, and I pray that someday I might sail the world with my wife and children. But that is in the future and in God’s hands.

So for now I live and serve. And like the reluctant monk who used to pray: “Lord give me continence, but not yet,” I pray “Lord give me continence—but not forever!”

“That it may please thee to give to all people increase of grace to hear and receive thy Word, and to bring forth the fruits of the Spirit, We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord” BCP 150