devotions

Thursday, Second Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested. (Revelation 2:10)

Prison is horrible. Prison is a deeply and profoundly negative experience that wounds and damages people. But not all people. As much as it is difficult, for some people prison is a test, and an opportunity. Prison can be a chance for society to seek healing and punishment for the penitent, and for the penitent to seek wholeness.

But that does not happen without the presence of God. Prison has often been likened to a church or monastery, but it isn’t. Church lifts you up and directs your gaze towards heaven; prison crushes you down, and grinds you to the depths of pain and longing. But yet, when God is present, it can be transforming.

In this barren desert a highway can be formed. In the barrenness of a concrete cell, on the arid stone of a human heart, something blooms. When nothing else works, where nothing else can go, then we notice God’s presence.

Each of us must discover on our own who Christ is. Each of us must be willing to meet Christ, and if we are willing to invite God in then we must be ready to accept what God is offering. C. S. Lewis once said that God accepts us as we are, but loves us too much to leave us as we are. When Christ is here, then everything is different.

Any time can be a test, and God is here with us. With God’s constant presence then every moment and circumstance can be transformed. This simple presence is the greatest gift we could imagine. In prison the presence of God, and the presence of loved ones, is the greatest Christmas gift there is.

Give the transforming gift of your presence this year.

The King shall come when morning dawns and light triumphant breaks: when beauty gilds the eastern hills and life to joy awakes. (Hymn 73)

Wednesday, Second Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

When I saw him I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand upon me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one:” (Revelation 1:17-18)

I have feared the courts, the judges, and the authorities. I have feared the condemnation of my friends and family. I have feared the pain of my victims, not just the direct victims of my crimes; but also so many collateral victims. Everybody who has been touched by my crimes, even police, judges, and the prison guards are victims. When I first saw the movie ‘The Passion” I was captivated not just by the graphic portrayal of what Christ endured, but by the unspeakable pain on the faces of the two Mary’s. I see the pain on Jesus’ mother’s face, and I think to the painful cries from my mother and fiancé on the day that I was sentenced. I think of what my parents endure everyday that I am in prison. They are my victims in new ways on every missed holiday, on every missed birthday, on every day.

The pain of Mary before the cross was not just the pain of a mother seeing the torture of her son. She, better than any of us, knows the amazing divine identity of Jesus. She sees not just the infant she nursed and raised, but she also sees her God abused and crucified. It is her faith, her hope, and her God that is hung on the cross and killed.

But it was allowed by God, and only for a time. Fear not. Christ is the Living One. Holy. Eternal. Resurrected Savior. The Christ born this Christmas is beyond time, before it and after it, eternally reigning with the Father; he died and conquered death.

Christ hung on the cross for all the crimes that I have done, but Christ came down to live with all of the victims, and to bring healing to them and to me. Fear not Mary; Fear not us, Christ is here.

Herald, sound the note of judgment, warning us of right and wrong, turning us from sin and sadness till once more we sing the song. (Hymn 70)

Tuesday, Second Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

…Jesus asked them a question, saying, “What do you think of the Christ? Whose son is He?” (Matthew 22:41-42)

Whom do you say that Christ is? That seems like an easy question, but what do you secretly expect or long for in God?

There are so very many people who become Christians expecting an easy life. They suddenly expect their worldly troubles to disappear and for life to be easy. Unfortunately there are many preachers out there who are preaching a ‘health and wealth’ gospel that tells this lie.

Such a faith will not cut it in here. Men who become Christians and expect the court decision to suddenly go their way are often disappointed and fall away. They expect Christianity to be an easy life, and then must ask where is their faith when the parole board turns them down, or their children and spouse leave, or a family member dies? Where is God when our prayers go unanswered? Where was God when I committed my crimes?

It is the great gift that Jesus is the Messiah who has come to us, but following Christ does not make our lives easy or pain free. Emmanuel, Christ is with us, is a Christ who does not free us from hard times, but rather dwells with us in them. Where is God when it hurts and doesn’t make sense? God is right here. And in our longing and barrenness a faith is born that changes everything. In the midst of that need, great joy can be experienced and lived. It may not change the hardship of our lives, but God’s comfort brings hope. It brings peace, and it makes a path for us to return to God.

Who do you say Christ is? I say Christ is here.

Savior of the nations come! Virgin’s Son, make here your home. Marvel now, both heaven and earth, that the Lord choose such a birth. (Hymn 54)

Monday, Second Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Grace to you and Peace from Him who is, and who was, and who is to come. (Revelation 1:4)

When was the last time that you had a concrete chance to minister the Gospel in your actions? I once had a chance that I will always remember.

At the Fairfax Jail the chaplain came to our bible study with the story of David. He was in jail, probably for a few months, and he was destitute. He didn’t even have any underwear (it had been confiscated for ‘security reasons’) and had no friend to help him out. I called my mother and fiancé, and the next day they went shopping and dropped off some things for David.

A week later, as I was moving cells to another part of the jail, I met a man standing by the elevators with a small sheet wrapped around his few possessions. Even from a distance I could feel the pain and hurt radiating from him. I saw a bible in his hand, and we talked briefly. He was being moved to the Christian pod, (I had been banned from it because of my crime and sentence) and he was testifying to the anonymous blessing he had received in some clothes and underwear. But he was crying as he talked to me, saying that in the whole world he had not a single friend, at least not one that cared that he was in jail. “Well” I told him “you’ve got one now,” and I gave him a hug.

David only stayed in jail for a few months, and he still cried a lot during that time. But he was looked out for by many of the Christians, and left a much stronger man than he had been when he arrived. I did what little I could to help him, and we stayed friends during that time. I heard from him a few times once he got out, and he was doing well. It has been years now, but sometimes I still pray for him.

Every day is an opportunity for ministry. In every time and every place we can show the love of God. Today is your chance.

See that your lamps are burning, replenish them with oil; look now for your salvation, the end of sin and toil. (Hymn 68)

Second Sunday in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

“Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed His people.” (Luke 1:68)

Redemption, for a prisoner, is often seen only as what happens when we are set free from these bars and fences. The world beyond these walls is idealized, and often idolized. After years of separation and deprivation it is easy to think that redemption will come when you get out and are able to experience the ‘good life’ once again.

When people are released from prison, and are able to realize some of their goals and lusts, they often find themselves just as empty as they were when they were in prison. Many of them come back to prison not because they wanted too much, but because they wanted too little. The ‘good life’ wasn’t very satisfying. We dreamt small dreams, and when we seize the dream we are often just as empty as when we began.

The things of our world are ultimately not enough to satisfy the deepest longings in our hearts. We are finite creatures, and we are made to know and commune with an infinite God. There is nothing in this world that satisfies that need, and there is nothing that is supposed to. God made us to yearn and long for communion with God.

Prisoners, crime victims, combat soldiers, victims of serious illnesses… all people who have been through extreme life changing experiences often realize how empty life is without God.

God is right here in our midst, and God envisions dreams for us that are so much greater then anything we could ever dream on our own. God does not require us to be good enough, or holy enough, only for us to be willing enough. When we seek our fulfillment in this world, we will always be empty, and when we seek our wholeness in God, we will always be filled.

Prepare the way, O Zion, your Christ is drawing near! Let every hill and valley a level way appear. Greet one who comes in glory, foretold in sacred story. (Hymn 65)

Saturday, First Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

And Jesus said to them…, “Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s” (Matthew 22:20-21)

When Mary accepted God’s call to her, I don’t think that she had any idea what was coming. She risked so much, and lost so much, all for God. Being pregnant and unmarried she risked being rejected by Joseph and her family, she risked being stoned for adultery, she risked being condemned. When Mary traveled to Bethlehem she left her friends and family behind. There would be no midwife to deliver her baby, no family to welcome it, and no village to celebrate, rejoice, and bring gifts.

In all that Mary lost, she willingly gave it up for God. And God, in turn, blessed her so overwhelmingly. With no midwife to announce the birth, God sent the choirs of heavenly angels. With no family to gather, God sent the shepherds. With no village gifts for the child, God sent the wise men bearing gifts for a king. Mary offered up to God what little she had, and God gave it back to her with divine abundance.

We get so caught up in stuff this time of year. We get so focused on things. And I love stuff, I love things. But these things are so incidental to our faith. In my life I have lost so much. And not just lost, I have thrown away, wasted, squandered and destroyed so much. And I think that to some degree we all have. We offer to God what little we have left. And God blesses us, God restores with divine abundance in ways we could never have foreseen.

God restored to Mary, and through Mary’s offering God blessed all of humanity beyond compare. Our God is a loving God of restoration. God restores, and God continues to restore to us.

Born thy people to deliver, born a child, and yet a king, born to reign in us forever, now thy gracious kingdom bring. (Hymn 66)

Friday, First Week in Advent

Prison Lectionary1 Comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Then he said to his servants, ‘the wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore to the thoroughfares, and invite to the marriage feast as many as you find. (Matthew 22:8-9)

The shocking thing about this parable of Christ’s is that we are the latecomers to the banquet. The ones who were out and about in the alleyways and poorhouses that night; those that were brought to the wedding feast and clothed with the festal garments, they are us.

It is humbling to think of ourselves in this context. But it is in this capacity that Christ comes to us, and that God offers us so much. I would rather think that God somehow needs me, but God doesn’t. It is that God wants me! I might think that I can do God’s work, but I can’t. It is the amazing and nearly unspeakable miracle that God wants to do some of God’s work through me!

And just this month as children sit and hope for the gifts of Santa, we must be ready to accept the gifts of God. We must be willing to come before Christ humbled and ready to receive the commissioning that God has for us. If we have talents and skills, then they were only given to us for a purpose. Jesus talks in this parable of giving the guests the wedding garments to wear. What garment has Christ given you? Do you have the humility to accept it? Do you have the courage to wear it?

The poor and destitute are always more ready to receive God’s love. We already know that we cannot make it on our own. All too often we think we can do it ourselves, and we are so wrong. So today I dare you to climb onto the lap of you divine father, and when you are done telling him what you want for Christmas, I dare you to receive and accept what God brings you.

He comes, the prisoners to release – He comes, the broken hearted to bind, the bleeding soul to cure; – let every heart prepare a throne, and every voice a song. (Hymn 71)

Thursday, First Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Therefore, beloved, since you wait for these, be zealous to be found by him… and count the forbearance of our Lord as salvation (2 Peter 3:14-15)

It is inevitable that we, human that we are, will work to seek God. We will try to learn, and to do, to bridge the immense gap between God and us. And yet, as Peter so strongly reminds us, it is Christ who comes to find us.

I have been angry at God. In the pain and anger of my life I have rebuked God, and blamed God. I have heaped the unfairness of the world on God, and I have laid both the wrongdoings that I have done and that have been done to me on God. And I have turned my back on Christ and looked elsewhere for answers.

If you were to give a thirsty man advice on digging a well, the advice would be simple: find the right spot, dig a deep hole. You would not stand by and let him dig 20 different wells only 10 feet deep; but that is what I did, and many of us do, with other religions and philosophies. When you need a well you dig one 200-foot hole. I may have picked up some Buddhist tendencies, but it was only when I came home to Christ, and was willing to dig deep, that I found solace and comfort. God found me, called me home, and welcomed me.

When we are angry at God, when our faith wavers, the answer is never to go on some superficial journey to other ideas. Instead it takes a step of deliberate faith to dig deeper. When we don’t have an answer, we know God does. Dig deeper. Like the wise men that we remember on Epiphany, be willing to journey and to go to a new place to search and find Christ, and to be found by Christ.

Thank God that our straying and questioning are accepted and forgiven. The forbearance of God is great. Be zealous to be found.

With God the Father you are one, and one with us in human flesh. Oh fill our weak and dying frame with godly strength which never fails. (Hymn 55)

Wednesday, First Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you, the tax-collectors and the harlots go to the kingdom of God before you.” (Matthew 21:31)

It is disturbing to think that the people we least approve might be the first ones into heaven. And not just might be, according to Jesus, they are. If you think you are humble, think of the prisoners getting into heaven ahead of you. Does it disturb you?

The question is no easier from behind bars. In here there are inmates who are hated and despised. The rapists are a second class citizen in prison, the snitches rank a little lower, and it simply doesn’t get lower than the child molesters. And yet when I find it difficult in my heart to reach out to them in kindness, I hear these words of Christ in my head. When I harbor judgment and resentment, it is indeed they who will go before me into heaven.

The repentant criminals are among my favorite people in the world. The person who has honestly looked into the depths of their own heart, and seen the guilt and the need; and who has then in their longing and grief turned to God and let Christ fill and sanctify them; I love these men. But I find that I love those who aren’t repentant as well. When I see them in their pride and anger, self-righteous before man and God; I find only love, pity, and sorrow in my heart.

Is our church a Sunday country club or a hospital for sinners? I welcome and rejoice with my favorite people in church. We are all repentant sinners. But I also welcome those that I struggle with. I welcome the snitches, the child molesters, the rapists. I struggle, for I too need the maturing ministry of Christ, but I welcome them.

Christ turned none away, not even me, can I do less?

Herald, sound the note of pardon – those repenting are forgiven; God receives his wayward children, and to them new life is given. (Hymn 70)

Tuesday, First Week in Advent

Prison LectionaryLeave a comment

by Matthew B. Harper

Therefore I intend always to remind you of these things, though you know them and are established in the truth you have. (2 Peter 1:12)

It isn’t often that we stop and think about the deep foundational issues and truths that define our lives. When we do take the time to think about or talk about these issues, we always want to cling to very high and noble ideas. But the truths that are actually established in our lives are the ones that are made manifest every day. It can be disappointing if we see that what we claim and profess to believe, we do not live.

In prison it is a common mantra to hear men say that they will begin to live a more upright life in their last year in prison; or that they will go to church ‘when they get out.’ I always tell them that the truth is that if you aren’t doing it, then you aren’t going to do it. What these men don’t grasp is that if they cannot live a righteous life now, then they will not be able to live one when they get out. Tomorrow starts now, and as you prepare so shall you live.

Prison is a time of preparation, so what are you preparing for? Advent is the time of preparation, what are you preparing for? If you live in and focus on the pain and depressions of prison, then that is what you will be established in. If you live only for the toys and presents of Christmas, then that is what you will be established in. But if you live in the joy that the Lord brings, if you actually live it, then it will be established in you. The deepest roots of our faith are sown when we can find the strength and joy of the Lord in hardship and pain. God is there. Tomorrow starts now. God is here.

As you prepare, so shall you live.

Come thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free:

from our fears and sins release us, let us find our rest in thee. (Hymn 66)