Matthew B. Harper

5th Day of Christmas

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by Matthew B. Harper

So Abraham called that place ‘The LORD will provide’; as it is said to this day, ‘On the mount of the LORD it shall be provided.’ (Genesis 22:14)

This name of God is beloved of mine because it is not just a testimony, it is also a powerful reassurance. It is a reminder that God has provided for me in so very many ways, and that God will provide for me in anything that comes.

In my life I have always longed for family. I have always wanted to feel needed and necessary, valued and loved, as part of a loving community. But I have only a very small family, and it has long been fractured and broken. At this point in my life almost all of what little family I have left has abandoned me. But in that seeming loss, God has provided for me abundantly.

If I were to count all those people in my life now that I love and value, that I count as family, I would quickly run out of all of my fingers and toes, and most of yours as well! These people may not be considered part of my traditional family, but they are certainly part of my intentional family.

This intentional family does not come easily. It does not come without decisions and actions. We have to decide not just to be totally open to someone else, but we also have to love that person when they are totally open to us and we are subject to all of their secrets and foibles. Being a part of a loving family can be work, but it is wonderful work. It is work that allows us to overcome all of our separations and anxieties, and be accepted. A family allows us to be the most fully ourselves that we can be, and be accepted.

I do not know what the future of my life will bring, I have only plans, hopes, and dreams, but I know whom it is that I follow, and I know God will provide.

Joy to the world! The Lord is come: let earth receive her King; let every heart prepare Him room, and heaven and nature sing. (Hymn 100)

4th Day of Christmas

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by Matthew B. Harper

But David said to the Philistine, ‘You come to me with sword and spear and javelin; but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts…” 1st Samuel 17:45

The Lord who is “God of all the Hosts,” and “God of all the armies,” is surely a God of getting things done. This is not the quiet God who is preaching on a hillside to fisherman, this is the God who is out conquering new lands and subduing other peoples. I like this God.

I like this God because I am a guy who likes to get things done. I like to make to-do lists and I love to cross things off of them. I love to always feel like I am accomplishing something. I feel an almost manic need to always be accomplishing something in prison, or I feel that I am simply wasting my time and my life. If I am not busy I begin to almost frantically fill the time with something. I cannot seem to even sit to watch the television without also trying to read a book and eat a meal at the same time. I used come to work and often found myself frustrated with the men who would stop by because they were preventing me from getting my work done. It was a humbling day when I was reminded in prayer that these men were my work.

When the Bible introduces us to Mary and Martha we are challenged to compare those who are always doing for the Lord, and those who are simply being. It is easy to sit back and ask ourselves which one are we. I, for one, am much more comfortable as a ‘Martha’, but God calls Mary the better choice.

In prison I have often found myself forced into inaction. I have been literally bound up and alone for long periods of time. These turned out not to be the empty times that I needed to fill, they became opportunities for God to fill me. The world needs both ‘Marys’ and ‘Marthas’ but it is only when we are quiet and ready to receive God, that we can be doing for God.

Angels we have heard on high, singing sweetly through the night, and the mountains in reply echoing their brave delight.

Gloria in Excelsis Deo. Gloria in Excelsis Deo (Hymn 96)

3rd Day of Christmas

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by Matthew B. Harper

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being… (John 1:1-3)

When we talk about God as the creator we are immediately immersed in controversies concerning scientific or biblical-literalist creation, but the true focus should be the one that we all know personally – the eternally creating God that is creating all of us anew every moment of every day.

Often we approach our faith as if it were a puzzle that must be solved. We tackle each issue in the Bible or catechism as something that we must memorize and draw a little box around it. Then we can go through life and feel empowered when we define and denounce anybody who has even a slightly different truth in their little box. This may do wonders for our rhetorical skills, but it will do little for our faith.

There is much to be said for defining and defending the absolute truth of our Christian faith, but it is something that must be approached with humility, and not manipulated in arrogance to judge others. All too often I have seen my Christian family, in and out of prison, rent asunder by such controversy. All too often I have seen people turn away in disgust from our church, not from God but turning away from the Church.

When I, human that I am, look to the infinite God I do not pretend that I can understand all of it. And if I have even the smallest understanding, I am not sure that I could ever communicate it in words. The whole world is awash with the constantly unfolding puzzle of the Glory of God. I live in it, I love in it, I believe in it, but any attempts to define and dissect it somehow always lessen it.

However you understand creation, live always in the power of the one who is constantly and eternally creating.

Love came down at Christmas, love all lovely, love divine; love was born at Christmas: star and angels gave the sign. (Hymn 84)

2nd Day of Christmas

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by Matthew B. Harper

Therefore Jesus also suffered outside the city gate in order to sanctify the people by his own blood. (Hebrews 13:12)

What does it mean to be sanctified? We read the term in our Bibles and hear it echoed in church, but what does it mean?

Sanctification is the process of God drawing us closer. God meets us where we are, but God loves us too much to leave us that way. Sanctification is the way that God is working in our lives to pull us more closely to God. Sanctification is a process, a lifelong journey, and one that we only finish when our lives on earth are done.

In my life, as for many prisoners, the biggest stumbling blocks on my journey with God have been over issues of forgiveness. Learning how to truly forgive the people in my life for things done, or not done, was hard. But it is an easy task compared to learning how to accept forgiveness for what I myself have done. Learning to accept this priceless gift transforms everything. Most importantly it paves the way for us to be able to forgive ourselves. This is not the empty ‘forgive and forget’ kind of forgiveness that the world plays around with. The forgiveness of God is an all encompassing forgiveness, one that knows each and every one of our wrongs, acknowledges them, and loves us beyond them.

Part of the process of sanctification is finding ways to know and to acknowledge our past, while being free to enter into new life in God. I am daily aware of what I have done, and I can allow it to help shape who I am. More importantly though, I remain constantly aware of the Sanctifying Grace of God that has forgiven me and lifted me into new life.

To bring this gift to all of us, the beloved children of God, is one of the reasons Christ came to us. It is one of our Christmas gifts.

To you this night is born a child of Mary, chosen virgin mild; this newborn child of lowly birth shall be the joy of all the earth. (Hymn 80)

Christmas Day, December 25th

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by Matthew B. Harper

‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel’, which means, ‘God is with us.’ (Matthew 1:23)

More than for any other reason, we read the Bible to understand that we are alone. We read this book, cherished and handed down to us over the centuries, to hear the words and stories of a God who loves us so very much and comes to be with us.

There was a time when we could not get to God, when we were forever isolated and alone, and that time is gone. When we could not get to God, God came to us. That is not just true today, that is true every day.

Growing up in church my choir director used to joke about the “C&E Christians,” those people who only came to church on Christmas and Easter. Because Church is not just a place, and Christmas is not just a day. Emmanuel, God is with us, is with us everyday and always. Everyday of our lives is a day spend kneeling in the straw of the manger, and everyday is a day spent standing before the cross. God’s enduring presence is always with us.

Out in the desert today will be a long and hard day. The prison visiting room will be crowded, and there will be long lines for the phones. Church will be full tonight, and men will show up that we haven’t seen since Easter. (We have our “C&E Christians” in here as well.) In the midst of our longing and loneliness we will celebrate and find joy. We will find comfort and community. We will be able to do this because of Emmanuel. Because God is with us even in here.

We are not alone, and it is Christmas.

That is what Christmas is.

O little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie! Above thy deep and dreamless sleep the silent stars go by; yet in thy dark street shineth the everlasting light; the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight. We hear the Christmas angels the great glad tidings tell; O come to us, abide in us, our Lord Emmanuel! (Hymn 78)

 

Christmas Eve

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by Matthew B. Harper

He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intervene; Then His own arm brought Him victory, and His righteousness upheld Him. (Isaiah 59:16)

Tonight is the calm in the storm. The presents are wrapped, the food is put aside, the traveling is over, and tomorrow is Christmas. Tonight is the night for celebration, for worship, and for community.

I love stuff. On the street I was a guy with lots of tools, lots of clothes, bookcases full, and a kitchen overflowing. I didn’t just love stuff, I loved my stuff. The world seemed to be teaching me that what I owned was the measure of my life, and I listened with both ears.

I’m in prison now, and most of my things have been long given away to friends and family, passed on to those people who can use them. But some of the things are being kept and stored by my family, and that is important to me. It is a type of promise to me, a promise that there will again come a Christmas when I can celebrate at home.

In prison I am not sustained by stuff, or by the memories of something I used to have. I am ministered to, sustained by, and loved by my family. The people that I love, if they are family of my birth or family of my choice, are the most precious things in my life.

Because the real measure of our lives is not the stuff, it is the people that are in it. The measure of our life is not what we have, it is how we love. I miss some of my stuff, (a favorite sweatshirt, a great CD, my bed) but I would not trade the full measure of everything that I own for one single of my friends.

After all, it is only stuff – and this is about love.

Once in royal David’s city stood a lowly cattle shed, where a mother laid her baby in a manger for His bed: Mary was that mother mild, Jesus Christ her little child – (Hymn 102)

Wednesday, Fourth Week in Advent

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by Matthew B. Harper

And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior…” (Luke 1:46-47)

In any household with children Christmas morning comes as a wonderful love filled chaos. There are cries of delight and joy, piles of wrapping paper, and new toys and clothes strewn about everywhere. The rest of the joyous day is often barely controlled chaos as the kids put on new clothes, and are then constantly underfoot with their new toys. Fingers are sticky with special foods, and there is tinsel and ribbons to endlessly clean up.

But then, after hours of chaos, quiet begins to come. Family members sated on rich food find a comfortable place to sit, and those children that have been a source of wonderful terror find a quiet place, on a warm lap, and rest. The gifts are put aside for a while, and the gift givers are loved and honored.

After all these years in prison I am not often very different. I look forward to Christmas when I often receive gifts of money to buy special books, magazine subscriptions, and CDs. I often love my ‘toys’ in here much more than I should. But the greatest time comes, and the greatest gift is, when friends and family come to visit. When they give of themselves to come through the barbed wire, and behind the fences, to sit and be with me.

In all the gifts that God has given us, I do not believe there is any greater divine longing than for those quiet moments together. That quiet time when we put aside all the trappings of creation, and simply sit and dwell with the creator. When we put aside our toys, and sit upon the lap of our heavenly parent.

O come, the key of David, come, and open wide our heavenly home; make safe the way that leads on high, and close the path of misery. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel! (Hymn 56)

Tuesday, Fourth Week in Advent

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by Matthew B. Harper

For with God nothing will be impossible. (Luke 1:37)

In prison the population divides itself. We divide into cliques, groups, gangs, and mobs. You have your associates, your ‘stick-men,’ your ‘running buddies,’ and occasionally a friend. We divide by race, by religion, by geography, by sports, and even by politics. In a community designed to dehumanize you we define ourselves not to create a community, but to destroy it; not to include people, but to exclude them.

An old cell mate of mine was a young white man, and a bit of a racist. He ranted one day about how all the different religious groups were only masks for racism. One by one he went through the groups listing perceived faults, until he came to the Christian community. He paused for a while, and then grudgingly conceded that in the church here there were members from every group, every race, every culture, and every background worshipping together. Maybe we ‘had something going’ he said; maybe we were different.

Christ comes into our midst and welcomes us. Christ welcomes us All. Christ overcomes every barrier, and loves us beyond any fault or shortcoming. I know it because I see it, I feel it, I experience it.

Community. In a men’s maximum-security prison, Community. With Christ all things are possible.

O come, thou branch of Jesse’s tree, free them from Satan’s tyranny that trust thy mighty power to save, and give them victory o’er the grave. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel! (Hymn 56)

Monday, Fourth Week in Advent

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by Matthew B. Harper

But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer is heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth.” (Luke 1:13,14)

Have you ever noticed how often a messenger of God starts with the words “be not afraid”? How majestic and terrible it must be, how amazing and wonderful.

God has spoken to us, and continues to speak to us. Often the words of God come through the living word of the Bible, sometimes through the prayers and collects of the liturgy, and sometimes they come into the quiet stillness of our hearts. I love the liturgy that has been handed down to us; it contains years and years of beautiful prayers and services. But the liturgy can also become a mindless recitation of empty words. It is important, at such times, to again grow quiet. To listen quietly to our hearts, and to ask how we might reconnect with God.

Often the hardest words to receive are the ones that come through other believers. But when we share our needs and prayer concerns, sometimes it is in community that we feel the presence of God and hear the guiding and comforting words that bring divine joy.

As a child in Bible studies I learned that prayer is talking to God; as an adult I have learned that just as much, prayer is listening to God.

O come, O come thou Lord of might, who to thy tribes on Sinai’s height in ancient times didst give the law, in cloud and majesty and awe. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel! (Hymn 56)

 

Fourth Sunday in Advent

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by Matthew B. Harper

For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. (John 3:17)

All too often when people think of Christians, they think of condemnation. They picture a God who comes to condemn them and the world. We are all sinners, and in prison the reality of our crimes and wrongdoings is ever present to us. We are living in punishment, we are expecting condemnation, and we condemn ourselves. But what we never expect is the radical love of Christ.

In all of His earthly ministry Jesus never condemns people for being lost, sinful, or broken. The harsh words that Jesus does speak are reserved for those who abuse and misuse their positions as ministers and priests. God speaks only words of love and invitation to His children. The Bible is handed down to us as a great gift, not a weapon to use on each other.

Many of us in here have been abused and condemned by Christians. Instead of seeing examples of Christ’s loving presence, we have only seen examples of human weakness and animosity. This is not the Gospel message.

God loves us so much, in our sinfulness and brokenness, that he sends his son to us to invite us back into a relationship with Him. Christ’s birth was foretold, and so was Christ’s death on Golgotha. God gave His son to us, knowing we would reject and kill Him. This is how much God loves us.

Dare we love each other as much?

Dare we not.

O come, thou wisdom from on high, who orderest all things mightily; to us the path of knowledge show, and teach us in her ways to go. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel! (Hymn 56)